Do the 5 Love Languages Need an Asterisk?

As someone who has studied the 5 Love Languages, and even used them as the basis of a Valentine’s Gift idea, I have had the concept that it was all about exploring me so that my wife could better understand me. Or conversely, helping me to better understand my wife…

But what I have recently noticed is that your specific Love Language may not always reflect who I am, but may actually reflect who your spouse is. For instance, if your man is not very good at expressing himself or saying things you need to hear, then odds are you are going to state Words of Affirmation as one of your love languages. Or, if your lady is not into spending time with you, then you are probably going to say your Love Language is actually Quality Time. See, your Love Language may not describe your personality as much as it describes the language you are lacking.

To make this point a bit more, take the following quiz based upon your marriage and see which Love Language you are in need of the most. Then retake the quiz based upon your relationship with your friends, or parents, or kids, and see how the results change.

Love Language Quiz

Now I know there is not a direct correlation between spouse and kids, but the thought first came to me as I was comparing the difference between the two. I have always held the notion that Physical Touch (for obvious reasons) and Words of Affirmation were my two languages, but after being doted on by my kids, I realized I actually like my personal space and too much touch (of a non-intimate nature) can be a bad thing. I now realize Quality Time and Acts of Service describe me as a parent better than as a husband…

Anyway, I’m rambling now, but the point is that we need portions of each of the 5 Love Languages and our “Love Language” may actually describe our spouse (or kids) more than it does us…

And this post may need an asterisk as well…


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